Shadowwork

 I figure I can share some of this journey on here.

Shadow work question for today: What is your first memory and what feeling do you get from it?

My earliest memory is me in the back of my mothers car doing something very adult and in appropriate and I was maybe 4??? The idea makes me squeamish that I even had a idea on what I was doing.  It also makes me wonder was I molested before that time that I don't remember? I know when I was older I had to live with my abuser( I was 8 or 9 and he was 14-16) for another year after I told because the adults in the house needed me to be lying to feel good about themselves. 

It makes me want to do some memory regression to figure out what happen to that little girl. 

I spend alot of time looking into the past to understand my present.  I already know I don't want to delve daily, but I know its for not only my well being, but for others as well. What they say in church your tests are testimonies or you might be the only bible someone see so if I am meant to go thru tribulations so I can be  empathetic as well as sympathetic ear then I am here for it Spirit. I just hate the tests I'm the kind of girl who likes to study before a test.

This is part of my healing journey and just like every time I come back to y'all I promise to bring you along for the ride.

I'm still praying still believing just not going to a church to see God. I actually pray more now that I'm honoring my ancestors and feeling more connected to God so I love it.